GOLLY GEE GOOGLE

Oh Brother, why I'm not surprise? By whipping this raticate, you're there. You're incredibly instantaneous. Quick. Faster than the speeding bullets. And a lot like lightning. Do you know that? Just how do you it? I type, you respond. I inquire, you promptly reply.Oh boy, you're a genius. Well sorta. Because at times I am disbelieving everything you say. Not all you said is true. You're as phony as the rest of them. I have to prove or disprove whatever you say to my hearts content. And only then that I 'd relax and be rest assured that all my querries, questions, and doubts are answered. Gosh, I really hate mysteries. Duyunowataymin? And you're such a know it all, eyncha? One time, I simply typed letter J and you have thousands of pages under this subject. So I decided to be nasty and type some more...like...jimg29...yeah...so there. including this article, you have about twenty-nine million things to say about him. Unbelievable! Well, I should be thankful, I guess; afterall you are the only one which records my everyday's thoughts and sufferings. I probably succumbed long ago to the deepest and darkest end of madness. Thanks to you, as well, for making me like a sea jelly, floating aimlessly, I became so lazy. Over these years, you brought endless joys. But from now on, I'd like to change that. I have to go. I must do some serious readings, before I go blind.

TERRI THE HATCHET

Come quick my greenie freng Jason T. of Greenpinoy.com needs our help. Apparently, the said website had been hacked over the weekend, and he got no clue as to who or what party is responsible to this madness. Even the forum that is tied to the said site, according to Bachengo himself, was nearly or in danger of assault from unscrupulous internet-minders. This is a real lost if it ever happened, and it's really sad that my daily dose of laughter would now be compromised. It also sad to think that several gems of articles that ever written from this forum would be obliterated to smitereens and forgotten by generations to come.

So I beg of you, whoever you are, and for the sake of humanity and human decency, stop hacking the most "tsak-tsek-fool" site that Pinoy all over the world love and regard as their favorite "tambayan". Let's terri the hatchet...err bury the hatchet!

God forbid that if this is yet one of those ploy, and just a desperation grab for attention, I'd swear, I'll go after them perpetrators of this childish pranks myself and chase them to the endz of the worldh.

HERE LIES

Here lies upon lies upon lies upon lies and upon lies that I concocted. Come quick, help me drown these drinks. Suddenly, these birds wanted to be free.

THE SALINGER IN MY BASI

The public loos I frequent away from home is notorious for etched graffittis and mundane profanities. They're solicitous and gratuitous; and anyone on their right mind wont fail to notice it and that amidst their glorious deeds, ernabees, or whathaveyous, its as if your being taunt by these anonymous vandals and hooligans whose only talents are to vent their frustrations on the society as a hole ere whole.

Incidentally, last week, J.D. Salinger, the celebrated author-actor of The Catcher In The Rye turned 90 years old. From the Sunday articles that I gathered, he no longer grants interviews. And what do they expect, at his age, he should be given the courtesy to live and enjoy his twilight years. Let the man have his privacy for crying out loud.

He came to mind because of this flagrant profanities in my shitting cubicle. Just like his book, which is laced with teen-age angst, and outright mid-finger salutations. In today's world, the old book can easily be read in bloglife form. Holden Caufeld, the main character is just a teen-age boy beyond his years. He could easily discern what is necessary to escape old New York at a time when the city can be had for mere $10 a day.

And a minor message of this book is when Caufeld was given a note that served as words to live by. It's about the "difference between the mark of maturity and immaturity with regards to dying nobly and humbly for a cause".

There I said it in pharaphrase form lest I'd be accused of copyright infringements. And while your thinking of re-visiting this old masterpiece; you may leave me now, alone...in peace and reverie!

YEAR END BOLLOCKS

Once again we come to the end of this incomprehensible bisiesto. Most of you are probably glad to see it go. I on the other hand, particularly awaits the anjo-nuevo with guarded optimism. After all 2009 seems to be the year of hope. (Cross fingers)

And since this is just another expletive blog, I'd like to tell those who care that in truth, I won't say as much, not that I detest lenghty expositions but because I had no time nor day for deep reflections; other than to say that this globewatcher is just full of it. Full of shit! That's it.

Yes dear butter cups, mesdames et monsieurs; after briefly reading a book about this Australian dude who hides and personifies a monstrous and bespectacled lady that rhymes with Lame Erna, I got this very un-original idea, that maybe I should also end this blog with a year-end recipe.

You see over the years, my queen maman taught me a lot of things. One of which is to take care of myself and one another and also be responsible to my own action. She instilled in me as well the notion of perseverance. And most of all she taught me how to bring to a boil litter of mineral agua without burning the kettle.

How's that for this year end's bollocks? Now if you could just pass me some sugar, cubes, that would be great!

THE BARNACLE EXPERT

I have nothing to complain, really! But I only wanted to teach someone about the absurdities of life.

A fellow blogger from Dubai thought that I'm a nosy and impertinent bastard. And I should be glad just the same, because he took time to write and dedicate a poem about moi. But the molestedtated twin eggaroo had had me all wrong. Instead of calling me as The Globe Watcher, he kept naming me as the global surveyor or observer or much worst as synonymous to a perverted inspector. Whatever does he mean by it, I got no effing clue. I can only think that he is probably suffering from dyslexia since he could not discern the difference of the above italicized words. No wonder my blogpage link to his website is up until now in question and hanging by a thread so to speak. If only he would take some time to read very carefully, I'd be much happier. But he most probably had a reason by doing so and who am I to correct this. After all, I am not a barnacle expert to tell him so.
Charles just where the hell are you?

Frankly speaking, he's so eloquent despite being twice molested! Ain't that right, Mr. Eggs?

So please, I'm begging you, kindly read this budding link.

http://mte-emptywords.blogspot.com/2008/07/global-watcher.html

HE 'S BACK

Last time he said adieu bid farewell, goodbye
Expresssed love's despair, breathed final sigh
Tumultous fans, friends shook heads in disbelief
Heavy-hearted river-god, Lethe, oblivious grief
Amidst the outcry, clamour, unanswered questions
Left a dent hollowed marks on everyone's imagination
Veered, swerved briefly, in uncertain opposite direction
Erstwhile, espousing new verses, ideals, sublime aspirations
Raising awareness, consciousness thru choruses and songs
Singing, shouting this time around 'bout live's sojourn,
Exposing injustices in any creeds, shapes or forms
Strange indeed, legendary, mythic...forever more.

KENGKAY'S WORLD PEACE

Kengkay once again pleaded that his readers refrain from bullying him. As he proffess not to be the gay icon that should be revered. Fair enough but I, being the jack-ass that I am, simply wish that he never stop from flamboyant and entertaining exposition, whether its true or not. His mini-series about a fellow blogger who is soon retiring, agent boytoy, is so hilarious that I cannot contain myself from adding my own twist to their stories. And here is my take as I typed away on his comment page:

While they are inside the tinted car, Ahenteng Cowboy is actually bemused at Kenkay's subtle advances. Especially when the latter groped his right hands onto...the stick shift. What else can it be, tee-nipples?

Then suddenly, out of the blue, a siren wails as Kenkay is about to step on the gas...here comes an officer and a gentleman in starchy uniform...ready to pounce!

Where do you think your heading, ladies?---- the cop asked.

But Sarge...we were just about to feel and eat each other out! Err...I meant going to get something for a bite---- protested Kengkay, trying to explain to the police officer who was brandishing a a very thick and long black wooden club, batuta, at that inopportune momment of desire.

Threesome?---Ahenteng Cowboy bravely asked.

JAZZ CAN'T BEAR IT

As an avid blogger writer, ayzprincess, have two ambitious blogspot website; uhm...erhm...pfft...blah...and Nawawalang Blogger, respectively. Here she once wrote a very poignant poem titled "Di Ko Matiis", which means "Unbearable". As I asked if it's her original english poem mix in vernacular; she readily admits that she had a hard time translating part of her third verse in native tounge, Tagalog.

Az I waz really up to a challenge, live by wordz, and love theze linez, zhe allowed me to tranzlate the aforementioned  versez.

my refuge is my down fall

my sanctuary is my hell

in your arms I am safe, but my heart is doomed

and everything may just be in vain

So az a birthday gift to ayzprincess, here iz Di Ko Matiis in itz entirety:

sa dibdib ng katotohanan

sa pusod ng realidad

ngiti ang katumbas ng bawat luhang

hindi mai-iyak.

sa unos na dala ng ngayon

hinahangin ang nalalabi kong pag-asa

binabagyo

ang puso kong pagal.

kaligtasan ko'y aking kasawian

apoy ang aking kanlungan

sa piling mo, ako'y matiwasay

ngunit puso ko'y isinadlak

at ang lahat ay balintuod lamang.

ALIGNING DEAD PLANETS

Right now,

I am just playing

about... this

dashboard posting

of my blogger account

because

I got nothing to do.

Just checking all

necessarry details

and

add ons

that I could possibly make

in order for

my entry

to be as interesting

as possible...

For it must be too

boring.

In other words,

trying to fiddle around

the tweedle dee

and duh rum dum!

But while

you're here

kindly check

the following:

http://www.where.ca

http://www.prideedmonton.org/

http://www.uncoverthecure.org/

MY SES REVL AHTEL

The most influential blogger on my list is non other than Sherwin delos Santos of lethalverses fame.

Barely just a month when lethalverses introduce himself to the web wide world and I was totally impressed. Not only with his writing style. His poetry, awakenings and experiences gave me a sense of being. (Especially when, I must admit, I got no purpose in life).

Although, I cringed at the image he conveys in his poetry and prose, his profound sense of spirituality and being is much greater than his humanity. That's why I'm one of those who secretly admire and idolize him. I would say that his greatest achievement is to impart among his readers the sad facts of life, and yet gave us tremendous hope and courage to tackle life obstacles in this unforgiving and turbulent world.

As one fellow dude, voted lethalverses to the top emerging influential blogger of 2008, and I couldn't agree more. But after checking the site to where he is going to be supposedly nominated, I kinda step back a little for I really don't believe that this is where he should be named.

For me, lethalverses is da bomb of our times. And to place him in such a manner, (among janetorial wanna-be blogpaper syndicate) would be a diminishment of his natural talent and accomplishments.

THE JOKE IS ON ME

In my attempt to help an earstwhile freng, I've managed to be a laughing stock on the blogging community (pls. see Kengkay In Distress). In haste and without checking the most important background to the blog story, I must admit that I made a blunder. Apparently, the so called raid on Queeriosity, an international gay bath house in Pasay City, Manila, is but just a publicity stunt.

So next time that Kengkay cried wolf, this jackass wont be fooled!

.

KENKAY IN DISTRESS

Calling all united front of worldwide faggs. This is to inform you that as of today, Queeriosity, a Manila club was under siege by squadron thugs of the government's agency against indecency. My earstwhile amiga, Kengkay is now out of wits announcing on his blog about the zaniness of the situation. His best friend texted him that he needs help as he was now under detention. As I'm here, very much 15 hours away from the sad events, all I can do is to call your attention.

Hey Ann, Ro, Kev, Jamy, GP, Claries, Khoopsy, Arnie, Crock, Hillary, Barbra, and all my friends on la la land; can't we do something about this? I mean, can we possibly let PLU, brothers and sisters suffer the humiliation? Haven't they suffer enough? Nong, please come home and show your support. How about Pro Gay Movement, AJ, Maruja, Kai, Gibbs, Ricky et al. Are we going to stand idly by? One confidant suspects, Corporate Closet is among the poor fellow that these baton wielding officers had detain.

This incident sounds like the Stonewall riots of 1969 in New York City, where police cops raided a dingy private club run by Mafia that caters to gay-clientle, for alledgedly serving booze and alcohol illegally.

It's really too bad that Queeriosity is now put out of commission because according to my sources, this is where the Greenies are going to hold their grand EB.

So please stop this madness and uphold the licence of this otherwise fun charade. Bring out the clouds and don't rain on their parade. Stop the raid!

HOLY KAMOTE, RIP 17APRIL 2008

Oh no, not again. Another blogger, Holy Kamote waved his final adieu. And I'm truly, deeply saddened by his sudden goodbye. His final entry on his blogsite simply said GUBAY and didnt left any explanations why. He said that everything needs no more explanations .

Of all blogger out there, this young kid has the talent to captivate the imaginations of inquring minds. I enjoyed tremendously his arduous writing style. But most of all he impart to his readers the best gift that someone could ever received. The ability to take responsibility, and think for oneselves. And for that I would really miss him. Hope to see you on other field wherever that maybe!

UP YOUR'S

Eversince my favorite blogger back home had fabricated her stories, I just don't bother coming back. How can someone be happy with that. I know deep in my heart that she probably meant nothing by it but knowing all true well the ramifications into my psyche, I just couldn't readily admit to myself that she's right. Well sister...You're all too wrong! Remember this, I wasnt just born yesterday. And por favor stop the innuendoes. Your just compounding the gravity of thy mistakes. It's better that you described it for all its worth and in jest but like i said, you don't have to invent an f***ing stories just to please this moron. Write the truth and forever I'll be indebted to you.

And that's all I can say!

GREENFORUMS.GREENPINOY.COM

Just where to begin, I have no clue. As of this moments my muse had left me and my readers are clamoring for more, I know. But I just finished browsing my videos and trades shakepearian barbs among my greeny folks. There's not a boring post out there, I must tell you. Once again I felt the greatest joy reacting to their wits and what not. Who the hell needs a gmail for that matter. As you may well want to know, eversince I fixed this puking-inang pc, it's also the beginning of the lost of my gmail. Somehow I could not gain access to that stupid g-mail, WTF! A gain here is another lost on one area. Do I have to go back to my obsolete pc? I have no more time trying to fix everything. Just don't have the patience and fight anymore. I'll just be contented for now with what I got.

And this is what I really don't like about blogging sometimes, I mean really it's getting personal and before you know it, you gain more friends and enemies alike. Should I be very thruthful now with my readers or still be guarded. As I've told before, one can never be too sure who wants to gain access or learn from what you disclose. So let me just be the way it was. I'll still be the sweetest friend you ever got or your formidable foe.

Now if I could only decipher this Sanskrit text or was it Hindi materials, Betti Tum Suck Nahi!

Pahabol thoughts to my freng Lyzius: Obviously I'm having troubles with my You Tube account as well as I have several attempts already on sending you the video that you have requested to no avail.

Even my dear sweet friend Nina from China who understand my difficulty of watching her channel. Really WATCHAPPENNING HERE, GRRR!!!

FOR DE LYZIUS

My fellow blogger from the desert, DeLyzius, is so nosy and I notice that she visited this pathetic kablag 10 times a day during her break or when pretending to work. Now that she knows the existence of this kablag, she tends to hang around so much and preffered sleeping over against my hospitality and will. Okey, I stretched the truth just a bit. She's just axe-ually complaining about breaking the boredom that she feels from time to time and only wanted to find a new outlet from her daily routine, but what can I do, I have to go to work as well, you know. Blogging is not my whole life and serious living must be done. Some of us have to travel here and there and everywhere and be at a certain time in order to meet the demands of our hectic schedules.

In fact, I just got back from Calgary, where Juno Awards was held. This is a very important Canadian music entertainment ceremony that I attended. Mingled with the stars, singers, songwriters, and other musical celebs. I don't actually want to bore her for mentioning Avril Lavigne, Michael Buble', Anne Murray, Paul Brandt, Jann Arden, Sarah Brightman(?), Finger Eleven, Blue Rodeo, Julie Black, Hedly, Amy Fiest, just to name a few.

But I was really excited to mention here my Indian brother, Russel Peter, who hosted the event. This is the very first time, that an important comedian ambassador showed how it's done. And if you're still not familiar with this guy, you better browse your kind of brand of entertainment.

Believe me, he's your Bhai... err your man!

GAGONG BAGOOGLES

Yaman din lamang na ang aking itinuturing na kaibigang si G. Bagoogles ay sakim at gahaman sa rebenyung isasampa ng mga dahong ito sa kanyang kopter ay ipahintulot ninyong sa katutubong wika ko bigkasin ang poot at muhi na aking nararamdaman. Hindi ko na ipapaliwanag sa inyo mga kafatid kung ano ang ibig kong sabihin, sanhi nang maaring inyo na ring batid mula sa inyong karanasan kung paanong itong hinayupak na si G. Bagoogles ay mistulang hayok at mapagsamantala sa tulad kong sopistikado at palaisip na nilalang.

Antipatiko! Walang modo! Halimaw! Ungas! Pangahas! Wala kang karapatang gamitin at iblota sa daigdig ng internet ang aking kaisipan nang walang kapahintulutan. Sa kadahilanang minarapat ko hanggang ngayon na hwag i-rehistro sa tunay kong pangalan ang lahat ng pahina at dahon ng The Globe Watcher, ay wala ka pa ring karapatan upang akoy gamitin at mulit-muli'y andukhain sa ganitong paraan. Bakit ang tipaklong at tikbalang sa dakong Russia ay tuso sa pagkopya ng bawat nilalaman ng aking munting pahayagan. Akala nyo ba'y ako'y matutuwa, magagalak? Na ako'y inyong pinagkakaperahan? Laan kong ipalimos ang aking kakayahan kung yun lang ang iyong kailangan. Subalit bakit, ni walang abiso o pagkilala man lamang sa topak ng inyong lingkod?

Ngayo'y batid ko na kung bakit sa blogosperong ito ay punum-puno ng mga ganid at sakim. Gayundin ng mga kaibigang nanghinawa narin sa paglathala ng kanilang pananaw, makitid man o malalim sa katalinghagaan.

(Dahil busilak ang aking puso ay dito ko na isisingit sa loob ng panaklong ang mga mura at sumpa sa hinayupak na ireng si Bagoogles at ng kanyang mga alagad na tuso, mga kampon na Balasubas .....#x%$!....#x%$!...#x%$!...)

Tignan natin ngayon kung hanggang saan hahantong ang puking-inang lathalang ito, sa kabila ng kadalubhasang paraang dinesenyo ko ngayon ang aking kaisipan. Sa katotohanan, may ideya na ako kung saang lupalop ng internet pupulutin ang bawat salita at laway na ipinuhunan ko rito. Putragis Ka!

Ipagpaumanhin mo katoto na hanggang dito ko na lang tatapusin ang iresponsableng 'rant' na ito sapagkat datapwat bagamat (you fucking twat) ay totoong nahihilo nako sa pagtitig sa durungawan ng aking mundo.

PSALM PASSION

Holy Week is upon us and nothing much to do but seek silence and do some deep reflection. Bloghopping and catching news events unfold also became my tedious chore. Finding life from outer solar space is neither exciting nor the resurgence of another European threat from Bin Laden. Soon, Mr. Bush is going to step down but that terrorist has never been found. There are so many works to be done and I'm procrastinating as usual. Income tax deadline looms in a months' time while I'm begging to be heard and ridiculed. Alas! Today is springtime and slushy streets from thawing snow is much less for my desire. Can't even post silently here in the library because rude teen-age girls are swearing obscenities to that poor old guy.

"What do you expect, this is downtown!", said one.

"Call the security, if you want." another bitch replied.

To my mind, "Whatever happened to civility, this is the f#$%*!g library for crying out loud". It's a good thing that my hour log was done and in haste I left their altercations.

Tim Horton's coffee still at hand, I was humming the Passion Psalm:

Ang unang letra ay ASUNCION/ Ere nama'y RESURRECTION/ Ang ikatlo'y ADORACION/ Ere nama'y LAMENTACION/ A.R.A.L. Sa Mahal Na Poon./

SAMUT SARI THOUGHTS

My favorite blogger is bemused about the comment I made and finally sent an e-mail just to clarify what I meant. See it works, if you just play it simple it tends to be no importa. But if you puzzle their slurpy minds out, you get the best erections...err reactions to their out of ordinary daily existencia. That's moi! Boy do I ever...got a shoot...err hoot out of that. I mean a load...full of laughter, (just what are you thinking?) Anyhoo, the PLEASURE is all mine. And to this day after St. Patrick's, I could now dance the PIROUETTE.

And while the lent season is upon us, let me share this passage from the Book of Lamentations: Chapter 2-16;

All your enemies open their mouths against you; They hiss and gnash their teeth. They say, "We have devoured her. This at last is the day we hoped for; we have lived to see it!

I hope Clinton could use the preceding lines for her campaign. And what about Berock O'Bummer, ain't he the most la-di-dah speaker ever? I doze off after two or three lines. OMG! For real, Bush is much more entertaining than him. And if America embrace Obama and become this Ghetto style government, I'll twirl away as fast as I could like that darn Atlanta tornado. SO HELP ME BUDDHA...err DALAI LAMA!