OVER A BOWL OF CEREALS

Over a bowl of cereals, my teen-age son and I had a brief roe and wade discussions when I simply reminded him that today is Mr. Barrack Obama's inauguration day. And he didn't care nor give a crap about it. As far as he's concern the USA president is pro-abortion.

I'd like to believe that I am as liberal as any Frenchmen but to hear my son utter such conservative view, I was flabbergasted. I wondered as well if what he just quipped was his true opinion or just part of his peers and/or mentors point of view. So I challenged him.

"What if abortion is a necessity; and if the said pregnancy is detrimental?

"Tough luck," he replied, "they shouldn't be pregnant in the first place"

"Rape"? I asked. Unfortunate circumstances?

"It doesn't matter!" he chorted.

We hardly finished our breakfast and about to impart some knowledge of internet proportion but he'd be late for school.

Woe to thee, I was thinking if I needed some serious parental skills!

THE LEGEND OF THE OX

By tomorrow next, Mr. Barrack Hussein Obama would be sworn in as the 44th president of the greatest democratic country in the world. This inauguration in historical sense has profound significance. He was born on August 4, 1961. Year of the Ox. In Chinese Lunar Calendar 2009 also happened to be the year of the ox.

He really come full circle and destiny is well written over it. Let's welcome the new era!

HAIR SPRAY ANYONE?

Senor G. Full Neym Withheld Calvo, my barber for 15 years nearly died when I told him that his services is no longer warranted for good. Eversince I learned that the reason why I'm also getting thin hairs and growing baldy is due to his extra diligent care.

Wifi recommend that I should go to her favorite saloon, Kwik-Kutters. And I rebuffed her right away by saying that her sister-proprietress, Kiki Moui is giving me the creeps for her gupet-pyuke style. It's true that she's very very fast yet detail but the way she holds the scissors is like she's going down my trousers; and it wont be long before she'd accidentally cut my schlong.

So I decided, a drastic action must be done with my formerly voluminous hair, I took the shavers myself and started shaving away my cabeza. Now I look like the comrade from hell because my head is cropped in boufant style. Wifi bawled and missed my Bon Jovi rock-star.

What's your gel?

UNE PETITE TALK

While the rest of Canada are still shivering from bone chilling deep freeze, minus 50 degrees plus windchill factor, us here in Onion Town are now enjoying a balmy fine weather. EMG, finally the cold spell had snapped; and now I'd just have to navigate away from the brown sludge of snow.

Must I tell you that I hate small talks?

THE SALINGER IN MY BASI

The public loos I frequent away from home is notorious for etched graffittis and mundane profanities. They're solicitous and gratuitous; and anyone on their right mind wont fail to notice it and that amidst their glorious deeds, ernabees, or whathaveyous, its as if your being taunt by these anonymous vandals and hooligans whose only talents are to vent their frustrations on the society as a hole ere whole.

Incidentally, last week, J.D. Salinger, the celebrated author-actor of The Catcher In The Rye turned 90 years old. From the Sunday articles that I gathered, he no longer grants interviews. And what do they expect, at his age, he should be given the courtesy to live and enjoy his twilight years. Let the man have his privacy for crying out loud.

He came to mind because of this flagrant profanities in my shitting cubicle. Just like his book, which is laced with teen-age angst, and outright mid-finger salutations. In today's world, the old book can easily be read in bloglife form. Holden Caufeld, the main character is just a teen-age boy beyond his years. He could easily discern what is necessary to escape old New York at a time when the city can be had for mere $10 a day.

And a minor message of this book is when Caufeld was given a note that served as words to live by. It's about the "difference between the mark of maturity and immaturity with regards to dying nobly and humbly for a cause".

There I said it in pharaphrase form lest I'd be accused of copyright infringements. And while your thinking of re-visiting this old masterpiece; you may leave me now, alone...in peace and reverie!

KISSIN' BHAI - BHAI

dr. doctor i'm sick-sick
hurry do a come quick-quick
mere drowning me think
hai from much caffeine drink
mere eyeballs hai a rollin'
like sprockets dissily spinnin'
concentrations hai a missin'
tum hai, kya kurru, mere help
pop some pills and lovin'!

HUNGARIAN RHAPSODY

J. Brenner, the renown sex-maniac-kees
Yesterday had been very very nosey
He'd stuck his fingers very very hairy
Up my bussiness, where, frankly, none of his.

"Parfait!" he said, "je ne comprendre pas Ingrease."
"You gotta be kidding", I protested, "aren't you the psycho-analyst,
Probing and delving down on psychosis?"
-"Relax, I'd be gentle, lie onto the bliss!"

MOURNING FOR THE LIVING

As a mann wepan for his sunu oththe for his father,
Oththe for his freond hwanne death habban tacan him,
Swa don ic murnam for th lif-ig hwa don theirra agen illr.

- PIERE CARDENAL
from The Mays of Ventadorn, by W.S. Merwin

OLDE ENGLISC

Loetan me tellan eow hwoet.

Eow dount habban to loefan rimarks oththe oenig gif thaet iz

hwoet eow vant.

I'm greatful thaet eow cuman bi.

Ic hopian thaet eow leornin sumt-ig.

To teocean aend to entertene iz min prim goelan.

Danke Shoen.

THE VILLAGE IDIOT

You'd be interested to know that at the village I grew up in, my childhood friends used to call me kuton after fiery ants that attacked my balls. Cal me baloney but I'm no effing Montana.

MMIX BAG OF NUTS

Merely clad by feather boas and tatter frock, an elderly hag happened to hip brush with moi by the escalator on the way to the convention of the loons. She then went on to tell me that: her father was a rapist, he wont marry her mother.

And before I could react with a sensible come-back, she's already blessing me with her own personal deity. Instead of a frown or sneer I just smiled at her before I could form the word into my mouth that start with wh_ _ _ and rhymes with a boar. La bastarda was really enjoying the quip and went on her next victim.

I suddenly remembered the afternoon skies where this onion town was adorned by a bright crescent moon. It really brought out the philosopical grandeur among us. Welcome to 2009, when my MMIX bags of nuts are set to expire.

PREMIUM BREAKFAST

2009 arrived and knocked at our doorstep not with a bang but a whimper. We'd let it in stride and treated it like any regular day. Quiet. No hoopla, no noise, no fanfare, no whistle. And preety much de nada. Very insignificant really. But the morning after wifi treated us to a sumptous breakfast. I could easily be persuaded for a McDo coffee but she opted, err insisted, rather for Teddy's . We had a very premium Alberta beef steak, while she giddily chow down on a dozen of mouth firing hot-hot wings. This breakfast really cost her too much that my son and I agreed that it probably be our last meal for the very first day of the year.